5 Ways I Took Control Of My PPD Experience

First, A Little Background ABOUT MY PPD EXPERIENCE

Credit: Tina Marie Photography

About a year ago, we welcomed our fourth (and final!) baby boy. Several months later, I welcomed my fourth (and final!) bout of postpartum depression. As a mom with a long history of anxiety and depression in my younger years, I knew I was at a greater risk to develop PPD after having kids. Unfortunately, because I’ve also experienced the death of my full term son as well as an early miscarriage, I was at even greater risk when having my rainbow kiddos. Since this wasn’t my first rodeo, I had some proactive plans in place when I went in to deliver #thelastone. I’d decided not to breastfeed, choosing donor milk instead so I could restart my medications immediately. I was well established with my psychiatrist, so I knew I could get medical help at anytime I needed it. Unfortunately, my regular medication simply wasn’t enough, and PPD set in again. Recently, sick of feeling so low, I decided it was time that I took control of my PPD experience.

MY TAKE-CONTROL STEPS

Seek Out A Professional

First and foremost, I talked to my doctor. My psychiatrist, to be specific. She and I spent the past few months talking about my symptoms, my medications, and my goals. Ultimately, we decided a medication change was needed. I’ve recently started a medication completely different from any I’ve tried in the past. We plan to tweak the dose a bit in the near future. I’m seeing some improvement, but not a ton, so I’m hopeful a dosage change will help. If you’re dealing with a postpartum mental health issue, please, please- seek out a professional to help you!

NEWBORN BABY PPD

Put Myself First

Secondly, I took control of my PPD experience by prioritizing myself and my mental health. Instagram, this blog, Facebook, all of it- they’ve been nearly silent for months. (Maybe you noticed?) I made the decision to put myself first for the first time in a LONG time. I put ‘work’ on hold entirely, and gave myself some space to get through the holidays and some personal stressors. February is historically an emotionally difficult month for me, so although I was starting to feel a bit better mid-February, I continued taking time off. Initially, I felt guilty, and then I realized- the time and space was truly a necessity.

Made Physical Health A Focus

In addition to prioritizing my mental health, I made the decision on January 1, 2020 to get my physical health under control. I cut out soda and caffeine almost entirely, and switched to a mainly plant-based diet. On a bit of an impulse, I joined Weight Watchers, and started waking up early to hit the gym most days. I absolutely have more energy, and feel so much healthier right now. And yes, I’m losing weight, but more importantly, I’m taking better care of my body- and getting those feel-good endorphins! (Totally channeling my inner Elle Woods right now!)

HEALTHY FOOD
PHYSICAL HEALTH

Decided To Minimize ‘Stuff’

Early in January, I read The Year of Less, by Cait Flanders. A lot of what she said resonated with me, so I’ve spent the last few months minimizing the ‘stuff’ in my life. Retail therapy isn’t really a thing for me anymore, which has been a big adjustment. (My hubs is happy about that change though!) We’ve also been focusing on clearing out the extras in our home when we can. Since the start of 2020, I’ve made multiple trips to thrift stores, Little Free Libraries, and community pantries to donate our excess. This step is definitely a major work in progress for me, but in general, I find less stuff translates to less stress. (And less stress is a MUST for me right now!)

MINIMALISM

Embraced My Sleepiness

No lie, guys… I’m ready to head to bed around 8:00 pm these days. Pretty much, once my kids are in bed for the night, so am I. I’m waking around 4:30 am to head to the gym, so an early bedtime is essential. But I’ve also always found that my PPD symptoms seem directly related to my sleep quality. If I haven’t slept, I’m Mom-zilla walking. Embracing my need for the right quality and quantity of sleep has been a huge step in the right direction for taking control of my PPD experience.

QUALITY SLEEP

PPD RESOURCES

Postpartum Support International
It Sucked And Then I Cried by Heather B. Armstrong
Anxiety And Depression Association Of America
Postpartum Depression Demystified by Joyce A. Venis, RNC and Suzanne McCloskey
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

A FEW LAST THOUGHTS

Truly guys, I want anyone else dealing with postpartum depression right now to find ways to take control and change their experience. It’s also important to me to take a second to apologize for so much silence over the last several months… In addition to my non-existent presence on social media, there have been emails, texts, phone calls and more that went unanswered. To anyone who reached out to check on me, or offer help, I appreciate it and it did not go unnoticed. My return to ‘real life’ will likely still be a bit slow, and a bit bumpy, so PLEASE, bare with me in the weeks ahead!