I Skipped My Kid’s Birthday- And The World Kept Turning!

Alright, I said it. It’s out in the open now. And no, of course, I’m not proud to say that I skipped my kid’s birthday. But the truth is, I had my reasons, and I’m willing to bet every other mom out there who’s made the same choice (or just considered it) can relate! If you’ve ever toyed with the idea of just avoiding the birthday craziness with your kiddos one year, you’ll definitely want to keep reading to see how it worked out for us.

Disclosure: This post is not sponsored in any way.

IT’S TRUE- I SKIPPED MY KID’S BIRTHDAY

But Let Me Clarify

Just for clarity’s sake, and to reassure you I’m not actually THAT terrible of a mom, we didn’t skip the boys’ birthdays entirely. I just pared them way, WAY, WAY down for the year. Big themed party with lots of guests and Pinterest-worthy touches? Nope, not this year. But treats to share at daycare? Of course I could handle that. Some cake, ice cream, and presents with small groups of special family and friends was just what we needed. So while I say I skipped my kid’s birthday – and I kinda did – I definitely didn’t just abandon them altogether on their special days! We just found a way to make the birthdays better fit our family’s current needs.

Why I Skipped My Kid’s Birthday

The reasons I skipped my kid’s birthday can be summed up concisely in 1 word: overwhelm. I know, I really don’t need to justify my decision to anyone- including myself- but I keep finding myself tempted to explain my thinking. A new baby in March, who still doesn’t sleep through the night has us all short on sleep. A summer free of camps meant weeks of trying to keep my kids busy without resorting only to screens. My house looks like a bomb has recently exploded, I’m not cooking at home enough, and really- the list could go on.

But long story short, I was – and frankly, still am – totally overwhelmed by life. The idea of adding a large birthday celebration with 30+ guests, a full meal, decorations, favors, cake, games, and more had me feeling ill just thinking about it. Planning, shopping, cooking, ordering, baking, decorating… Oh man, it just wasn’t gonna happen. I couldn’t even bring myself to narrow down a date!

Typically, I love party planning. I’m a total Pinterest mom because creative and crafty is my thing- it’s SO me. In the past, I wasn’t just planning these parties because I HAD to. I was planning them because I wanted to. When I realized that this year, the idea was ultimately causing me more harm than good, I decided to abandon the joint party for the year. (#thebigone and #thelittleone’s birthdays fall 9 days apart). As soon as I came to the decision that the ‘big’ party was off this year, I immediately felt relief. I wasn’t thrilled with my decision (cue the mom guilt), but that relief was a clear indicator that I had made the right choice.

How The Kids Reacted

I have to admit, I was a little nervous to break the news to the kids. They were used to bigger celebrations with all their family. The boys had even had their ‘perfect’ party theme in mind for months already. (NERF guns, in case you’re curious). I thought they might be disappointed to skip out on a big party this year.

Truly though, my boys were FINE. No sadness, no guilt-inducing pouts or puppy eyes, nothing. Just 2 boys excited to now have a few opportunities to eat some birthday cake. And if we’re being totally honest, I know they (or at least #thebigone) realized that without all that party-planning stress, I was a kinder, more patient mama in the day to day. You know no one’s gonna pass up a chance at a happier mama!

My Reaction? Guilt, of course!

So, the boys took it in stride. (Phew! Dodged that bullet!) And this mama was still wrapped up in a tangle of guilt and sadness. I checked with my BFF, my hubs, and my parents looking for reassurance that no, the boys wouldn’t be scarred for life because we didn’t have a big birthday party in 2019. And like any source of irrational guilt, it’s taken time and repeated reassurances to try to drive that point home. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m not losing sleep over it. I’ll get there.

But, Good News! The World Kept Turning

Here we are, on the verge of leaving the boys’ birthday month behind us for another year. And sure, a little guilt still lingers. But ultimately, no one has suffered from my ‘selfish’ choice. We’ve celebrated in our own smaller ways, and enjoyed more calm around the house. So yes, I skipped my kid’s birthday this year, but who knows what next August will bring?!

Have you ever ‘skipped’ an important event, like your kid’s birthday? How did you shake off the guilt? Tell me about your experience in the comments below