Random Acts Of Kindness Day As A Bereaved Mother
Earlier this month, I wrote about our plans for Random Acts of Kindness Day. February 17th is an extra special day for our family. It’s the day our second son, Avi, was born and suddenly died. This post will be brief. I’m writing it the evening of the 16th, and the anticipation of tomorrow is weighing on me.
This afternoon, #thebigone helped me get our kindness cards ready. I printed, and he cut. Before leaving the house, my husband and I reminded him about our plans at the store and the reasons behind them. Although he was able to spend time with his brother, he was young at the time and I’m not sure exactly how much he remembers. We headed to the bookstore with both kiddos and encouraged #thebigone to choose 5 books he thought other kids would be excited to read.
(Not gonna lie. I also bought a few new books for our house – and maybeeee a decaf Starbucks, because hey, retail therapy is definitely a thing sometimes. Plus, books- ’nuff said.)
After we had paid for our books, we headed to the cafe area. #thebigone and I used washi tape to attach the kindness cards inside the front covers of each book. After explaining to the store manager, he happily took our books. They will be passed out tomorrow to 5 families that bring their children to shop. The families will see the kindness cards and read my sweet baby’s name on his birthday. Random acts of kindness will spread for him and because of him.
The grief over losing my son never ends. I will wish the outcome of his birth was different until the day I die. Choosing to focus on kindness, and making his memory matter has been healing for me. Saying his name, honoring him, recognizing his brief life- all bring validity to my emotions and contribute further to healing. Spread kindness today- in memory of someone, in honor of someone, or just because. Include your children in the act and show them they have the ability to impact positive change on our world.
All parents love to show off their children, and I am no exception. So now, because I am a proud mama, and this birthday boy was so very beautiful…
Photo credit to Debra Wallace Photography via Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
We said hello,
At the same time,
We said goodbye.
And smallest, wingless,
Oh you came to us,
Leaving as soon as you’d arrived.
But sadness is just love wasted,
With no little heart to place it inside.
[Craig Cardiff, Smallest Wingless]
Get Involved- Random acts of Kindness
I’ve created kindness cards that mention my son that you are welcome to download and use while spreading the love today. You can also write a simple note if you’d prefer. I would love for you to include the hashtag #ForAviWithLove. I encourage you to post photos of your Random Acts of Kindness to social media using the hashtag, If you receive one of our kindness cards, I would love for you to do the same. My family would love to see the ripples of kindness our baby’s brief life have created in the world. Enjoy this special day- and be kind.
Did you and your family participate in Random Acts of Kindness Day? Tell me about your gestures in the comments!
Check out some other ideas to keep the love moving along.
Dara
I’m sending love and good thoughts in memory of Avi.
Kate
Thank you for your support, Dara.
Ayana
Beautiful!! So sad but what an amazing way to honor your son!
Kate
Thank you, Ayana.
Susan Carmen-Duffy
beautifully written- putting love and kindness into the world is always a good thing. To honor Avi makes it even more powerful today. Happy birthday, little one- how amazing is it to know that truly each soul makes a difference in this world.
Kate
Thank you Susan. I remember Meg bringing us food in the first few days, and gifts you had made. We appreciated it then, although we were so consumed with the experience we never sent thank you cards to anyone. And we appreciate you remembering him on his birthday as well.
Elizabeth Brico
Avi was such a beautiful baby.
I cannot imagine the grief you carry in your heart over his loss.
I admire your strength, and that you have found a way to transmute your pain into something beautiful for all the world to share. Thank you for this opportunity.
Happy birthday to Avi <3
Kate
Thank you, so much Elizabeth. I know the circumstances are quite different, but we each deal openly with the long terms effects of our traumas, and I admire your strength as well.
Jasmine - LoveLifeLaughMotherhood
I love your kindness idea, and it’s a wonderful memorial!
Kate
Thank so much, Jasmine!
Jennifer
I am so sorry for your loss! I couldn’t even imagine losing a child. I absolutely love your random acts of kindness idea. What a wonderful lesson to teach our children. We might be using this idea!
Kate
Thank you so much Jennifer. I hope your family was able to spread some kindness last week. <3
Vicki @ Babies to Bookworms
My daughter and I have been gathering up items to donate. Thinking of you and your family today.
Kate
Thank you, my friend!
veryanxiousmommy
This is such a beautiful way to honor his memory.
Kate
Thank you so much.
Sane Mama
What a hard thing for you and your family. I wish you many blessings for the future.
Kate
Thank you very much. <3